Moods

Been down, why? dont know, I know its ungrateful should be grateful that Im alive n kicking. Im not hungry nor stranded in the cold. But I just cant help this feeling. Spent the day at home, started to go through my belongings. Tried to lighten up my spirits by goin online but after a while it came back. Prayed for my soul, listened to my favorite recitor and yet still there. Guess its the worry not knowing what Im going to face and seeing that its ending.Every little peice you go through brings back a memory or two. I sat there on my praying rug reflecting wondering what can I do and whats expected of me. Sometimes I think Im beating myself up for no reason. Ive accomplished my goal, should be happy. Been away from the society, forgotten how to socialise and act my age and whats the norm back home. Other responsibilities will set in too. Got to accept that. Been a student for to long and being in a foreign country didnt help made us even more antisocial. Except for a few freinds we trust we create a barrier when we meet people. We are receptive and interested in learning the culture but in the process dont want to lose ourselves. Ah, want the old me back, the realist.

In the evening while going through my things came across a peice of paper on it had my paternal family tree. I havent yet been able to memorise it never seen the need though I know when you met somalis amongst the first few questions they ask u of your tribal ties. Ah, now as Im going back home, will it become handy?? Isnt being human enough to relate? For 7yrs hadnt added a thing to my life. For the rainy day, typed it down n stored it on my laptop. Out of the blues thought of my granma(ayeyo) , guess her family tree will be different, could ask her about it. Remember she used to say she had more relatives n stuff. Ive got alot to learn about my heritage. So picked up the phone and called spoke with my edo said ayeyo was asleep, hadnt been well, poor soul.They will call me back, IA. Went back to my stuff, typing down imp. info n storing them. After an hour they call, "Hear my mum called" , she teased me ;)couldnt come around to ask her about her family history, instead we talked of her health, her missing the african warmth and IA the two of us met in Tz. Im looking forward for the day we will sip cups of shaax and listening to her childhood stories. We chitchatted then she said a prayer for me and we parted. God bless the man who deviced the telephone, in a fragment of time your with yourloved ones and nothing else matters as that oment is all yours.
My landlord called at last but he also left me in a dilemma. Ah, need to be patient. Hope all goes well.
Had dinner, flipping through TV channels came across a funny movie. I love martial arts but this one was just wacko KUNG POW. I just sat there fixed, u just cant stop laughing at the moves and language used. Ever heard of making a kill while listening to Mc Hammer? or A man getting a beating from an udder? Lol, there were even scenes similar to Matrix and Independence day. I wasted my time really but the lines in the movie was just funny.
News as usual is depressing. Wonder sometimes how would africa had responded to a pandemic like Avian flu? Would a whole continent be wiped out? Ah, enough.

My message of today was regarding no compulsion in religion. let man choose his way,let logic n reason rule. Cool.
Habeen wanagsan